Monday, July 20, 2009

Today's appointment

So it was uneventful..which SHOULD make me happy but it doesn't. I just feel like no one knows what to do or say around me anymore. I just want to shout "TREAT ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!!" YES I know what is happening. Yes it makes me sad, but damn it I have 4 more months is this and I don't want to be miserable all the time. I want some normalcy. There is still a baby in there. I am still a pregnant woman. Do you know that I am 5 months pregnant and the "FN" doctors haven't measured my belly once??? It's like everyone is so caught up on what's wrong that they can't see anything else. I have another ultrasound and visit in two weeks. I hope I get some better pictures. It really irritates me that they ALL KNOW and have known from nearly the beginning that this baby might not live and they send me home with the shittyist pictures and the crappyist ultrasounds I've ever had. HELLO PEOPLE!! This is one of my few times seeing my baby for the rest of his life...can you give me a little more or AT LEAST the same consideration as the next woman who you sent home with 20 awesome pics??? She's gonna get to see that face for the next 40 or so years!! Yes I'm little frustrated. I guess the medical field wants to ignore what they can't fix. But I'm here and I need this. I am perfectly "normal" and I am not going away, what about me? I guess mother's mental health is not a reason for an ultrasound that focuses on something other than defects.