Monday, August 30, 2010
In the last blog I introduced you to Grandma Martha, Hailey and La Whitney. On Tuesday I got a call from another 7c mom translating for Grandma Martha. Little Hailey passed away the night before. It hit me like a ton of bricks. She was doing so well the last time I saw her two weeks before. I know her grandma was broken hearted. No one loved that little girl more. I hurt for her. She wanted me to come see her the next day, when Vance had his cardiology follow up, but I knew it would be an all day appointment, so I went down that night. I started a project a while back to provide pallative care families with a memory box, photo album and teddy bear. Hailey's mom Rachel would be the first recipient. It felt good to have something to share, but still so sad to have to do it. Plus I wasn't sure it would help. With the last $8 I had in my pocket I bought a rose for Martha. I couldn't leave her out and I knew she would appreciate the thought. I went down to the hospital. It was an emotional experience. I could feel how alone she felt. At least Vance cheered her up. They played and you can't help but smile when that boy looks at you with that dimple and grin! We talked and I asked if they moved La Whitney because I saw another baby in her room. Then they told me, La Whitney passed away two days before. I was hit by a wall all over again. These two little girls stole my heart and now no one would get to share the experience of seeing their sweet little faces. And my heart broke for their innocence. I questioned was this allowed to happen because their parents didn't have the kind of commitment for them that would have been necessary to keep up the CHD fight. But then my thoughts shifted to the Wilsons and Deebs. You couldn't ask for more committed parents. SO why their babies and not mine. Yes a little bit of survivor guilt set in, but didn't last long. I know that God doesn't randomly chose who lives and dies. There is purpose in everything and thus proving yet again that Vance's life has a purpose. God has a plan in mind for that boy. I have such a deep appreciation for the parents who have had to let go of their babies too soon. When you know how blessed you are you can't help but be thankful for all you have been given. We have the greatest gift that could ever be given right in our hands LITERALLY!
at 3:06 PM