Tuesday, June 1, 2010
I am really bad at story telling and I guess my blog will be the same way. All the important points are hit, but not necessarily in the correct order. Since I stopped blogging for a while to focus on Vance, I have to go back and fill in the gaps, but I am trying to stay on top of things more this time so there are current events mixed in. Sorry but maybe it will make for more interesting reading. Soooo 2 weeks after Dr. Zyblewski (our Cardiologist) said Vance would be ok with surgery we got the call surgery in 4 days! OMg, my head was just buzzing. How do I plan for major surgery of my child in 4 days. How do I plan for my two other children and what do I tell them? Well, like everything else I procrastinate! I did call my mom who said she'd be down asap and help me with the girls not only watching them but trying to keep their mind off of it too. So that was a relief. As far as everything else goes I was just in a daze. I did as much around the house as I could manage, while keeping appointments at the same time. We had a long day the day before at the hospital in "same day" observation. After coming home and having dinner, my mom and her friend Michelle arrived and I spent the rest of the night til 1 am (surgery check-in 5:45am) figuring out what to pack and what to leave. The girls have school the next day but Gillian didn't want us to leave without her seeing and kissing Vance good bye. She does love that boy so now! She got up at 4 and by the time we were leaving she was so wiped out. Mom said she was sure she was exhausted in school that day since she fell asleep in the car on the way to the bus stop a block away!
at 9:44 PM
Anxiety is going to take over me tonight. Vance had a normal cardio appointment scheduled for today. Since I was downtown I planned on seeing a few other parents who were there; A couple who just had a new HLHS baby boy yesterday and another whose baby girl has had 5 surgeries and has been struggling since Vance was in the hospital with her back in March. We were doing the routine checks: height, weight, BP and O2 saturations. His O2 was down. But still not out of the range they said was normal, but still 10% less than the last few times. I didn't think too much of it. After a while you start to tune out stuff like that unless it's really major. We did his ECHO which to me looked better than the last time, less fluid. So I figured we were in for good news. Set up the cath in a few weeks and then on to the Glen in a few months. Well sometimes you get what you ask for but it's not exactly what you expected. They said he is out growing his bands, which were always mean to be a temporary fix. But I could tell it wasn't something they were really wanting to happen so soon. I had felt all this time that the cath was just a means to an end, just a way to get to the next step, but for some reason I can't get over the way it's just so final. Either they say they can do it or they say the can't. Basically if he will live or die....so hard.
at 2:01 PM
at 1:59 PM