This website is to introduce you to our baby boy, Vance, and keep everyone informed about his health. Vance Ryder Doan is his full name. For those of you who don't know, Vu rides motorcycles. When we first found out I was pregnant, Vu would say his son would be a rider for life, from the womb to the grave. So he became Ryder. Following the Doan family tradition of "V" names we chose Vance as his first name, which also is a nod to the "Vance & Hines" tail pipes on the Harley . We both wanted a son and never had a doubt that our baby was a boy.
At 12 weeks I had a special ultrasound designed to detect chromosomal abnormalities, not for any particular reason other than I'm over 35. To my disbelief, the doctor advised me that our baby's measurements were "slightly" above average. There was a second part to the test that she suggested waiting on before we before we went for further more invasive tests. Again I am surprised when another doctor calls to talk to me about my test results and suggests I come into the office to discuss it with her. She broke the news to Vu and I that chances were very high that our baby had a chromosomal abnormality His measurements weren't slightly above normal they were 2Xs normal limits and that we would need an Amniocentesis to be certain and to determine exactly what the abnormality might be. At 15 weeks we had the amnio done and request preliminary results so we didn't have to wait the 10-12 days for the full results. 3 days later I got the call....our son had Trisomy 21, more commonly known as Down syndrome, but that wasn't to be the last of challenges to face us. She also said during the ultrasound that had to perform for the amino, they had found what looked to be a heart defect and something with his bowel. She couldn't tell me any more about either because he was just so small and at his age they could not see them clearly enough to give me any answers.
Faced with this news I was counseled and given information on termination. Should we chose to we could terminate the pregnancy any time up to 24 weeks (6 months). It was an anguishing few days while we took this information in. I already knew I could not chose that path. I had seen and named my son. I knew he was the boy I had longed for. Of course, this was not what I would want for my child, but compared to many other abnormalities or birth defects, children with Down have more of chance of a "normal" life. Many of the other abnormalities don't offer a chance at life at all. I knew it would be more work than anything I'd ever done, but my children are my heart and there's nothing I wouldn't do for them, this baby is no different. I love him just as much as my two girls. He didn't deserve any less than I would give to them, which is all I have and all I am. I'm keeping this baby.